When a dear friend asked me to write an article about my journey to sustained victory over pornography, I must admit I didn’t want to do it. Excuses filled my head. What will people think about me? What would I say about such a complicated issue? But at the forefront of my mind was simply this thought: Am I even victorious enough to write such an article? My so-called victory, after all, has been sloppy. Desires didn’t magically disappear. The temptation to succumb has, at times, felt inordinate. But I can honestly look back and bear witness that God’s grace is training me to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions (Titus 2:11-12).
When I think about my journey, the path has been marked by months of prayer, meditation, conversations with God and others, and some despair along the way. If you’re currently struggling between the desire to please God or to please self, take it from someone who has been in your shoes: God is faithful to forgive and to give grace to help you. As I look back, here are two threads of thinking that run through the entire process.
Remember the Gospel
The first thread comes at the risk of sounding cliché, but I couldn’t be more serious: remember the breadth and magnitude of the gospel. For years my struggle with pornography was merely an annoying habit I wanted to fix, like biting my nails or saying “um” when speaking. But it kept me from being an effective leader in the church, and it kept me from being normal. I needed a fresh vision of what I was actually doing: I was grieving the Holy Spirit and participating in the very things that stored up wrath against me before I was in Christ (Eph. 4:30; Rom. 2:5). When the Lord brought a season of gospel renewal to my life, I came to understand that my sin was far more serious than I knew.
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